hmm
I haven't updated this thing in awhile. I think i've attempted to write a new post a few times, but then stopped.
I wish, sometimes, that words could really express how I feel. Often I write, and look down at what I just typed and think, "this doesn't represent my own thoughts". I often feel stuck in my thoughts, unable to really express what it is I am trying to say.
I am not writing for anyone reading this. I am not curtailing my message so that others are pleased. I want to write whats on my mind. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this is a public "journal" so what goes on here is read. I wish I could write transparently, but I do care what others think. I do fear judgement.
I've been forced to think, rethink, examine, look around at- what I am doing on numerous occassions this semester.
Who knew how much you'd be forced to think taking Philosophy courses. So much so that I am challenging all preconcieved notions. I feel like I wish I knew "how" to think. What to think. My thoughts are often all over the place that who knows what will bind them.
I keep getting the idea that I need some deep central truth underlying all the other stuff I am reading. I think this is where the Bible comes in. There does need to be a lens under which the rest of the things I do are looked at and examined. The Bible would say this lens should be Love. We often don't see things as the way they are, we see them as the way WE are. You can look at a situation differently based on how you feel at the present moment. Isn't that wierd.
Scientists say that we can never really know what a molecule looks like because as soon as it is looked at by someone it changes.
I wish, sometimes, that words could really express how I feel. Often I write, and look down at what I just typed and think, "this doesn't represent my own thoughts". I often feel stuck in my thoughts, unable to really express what it is I am trying to say.
I am not writing for anyone reading this. I am not curtailing my message so that others are pleased. I want to write whats on my mind. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this is a public "journal" so what goes on here is read. I wish I could write transparently, but I do care what others think. I do fear judgement.
I've been forced to think, rethink, examine, look around at- what I am doing on numerous occassions this semester.
Who knew how much you'd be forced to think taking Philosophy courses. So much so that I am challenging all preconcieved notions. I feel like I wish I knew "how" to think. What to think. My thoughts are often all over the place that who knows what will bind them.
I keep getting the idea that I need some deep central truth underlying all the other stuff I am reading. I think this is where the Bible comes in. There does need to be a lens under which the rest of the things I do are looked at and examined. The Bible would say this lens should be Love. We often don't see things as the way they are, we see them as the way WE are. You can look at a situation differently based on how you feel at the present moment. Isn't that wierd.
Scientists say that we can never really know what a molecule looks like because as soon as it is looked at by someone it changes.
If I may steal from something awesome that you wrote on Derek's b-day card: I am in love with the idea of Sean Raybuck.
Speaking of ideas, yea, you and philosophy it's a good fit. One thing though is that you don't have to fear judgement from me...or I think, from many of the people in your life. God has surrounded you by some very non-judgemental (at least in the personal/relational sense) people for a reason. You could tell me that you spent most of your highschool days blowing up cars and, while I might look at you a tad differently, I would still love you as I'm commanded to. Anyway yea point is don't let that fear of what others think hold you back man...I'm speaking of course from a lot of experences and a lot of times that I've held myself (I still often do) back because of it.
Something else, I think you're...as I call it, good "sense of misdirection" is a huge positive if it's channeled the right way. Honestly I wish I had more of one...it's importiant to realize that you haven't really truly realized anything...if that makes any sense. A good sense of direction is also a false one...based on, like you mentioned, ill-concieved ideas. It's often gotten me about as far as your sense of misdirection (and I mean all of this not as an insult of course) has gotten you. We're both in pretty much the same place when it comes down to it. Tonight I did a lot of thinking about how it's importiant to accept our character and personality traits, because God has given them to us for a reason...even with the negitives we need to accept them. Honestly it's not that the traits themselves are positive or negitive, good or bad, it's how we respond to them and how we use them.
Anyway man I'm rambling on and like you said this is a public journal so I'll save the rest for the next time we hang out. I'm looking forward to it. I'm all about sharing ideas, it's good times. (I just used two of my most overused phrases in one sentence)
Take it easy dude and I'll see you around this week.
- Jordan
Posted by
Jordan_Ryan_Stewart |
12:33 AM