Can't Sleep
Aye, a lot of stuff running through my mind. Although I just did a post I wish I could post a thousand more. What thoughts are these? Running through my head...
You know what I want is consistency. I want virtue. I want truth. I want freedom. I want these things so much, and what hurts is I have so little of it, and apparently not the patience or forsight to obtain them. I let my addictions hold me and keep me from moving. Keep me from becoming the person I should be. And I seem so content in all of this. This routine pattern of having high hopes in my mind, but dissappointing myself everyday. This allusive happiness always seems just outside of my grasp. Right around the corner. I just need to do a few things first.
Why can't I do the things that I truly desire to do? When will I be free? When will I no longer let sin hold me down? Does sin ever loose its sweet appeal? In the guise of a beauty I can have, but once its obtained it destroys and corrupts. How much has sin already corrupted?
What I want more than anything is freedom. Freedom to love. Freedom to be myself and enjoy myself. Personal freedom. To have the freedom that sets me away from fear. "Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom". I want that God! Where is this freedom?
Why is so hard?
..........................................................
You know what I want is consistency. I want virtue. I want truth. I want freedom. I want these things so much, and what hurts is I have so little of it, and apparently not the patience or forsight to obtain them. I let my addictions hold me and keep me from moving. Keep me from becoming the person I should be. And I seem so content in all of this. This routine pattern of having high hopes in my mind, but dissappointing myself everyday. This allusive happiness always seems just outside of my grasp. Right around the corner. I just need to do a few things first.
Why can't I do the things that I truly desire to do? When will I be free? When will I no longer let sin hold me down? Does sin ever loose its sweet appeal? In the guise of a beauty I can have, but once its obtained it destroys and corrupts. How much has sin already corrupted?
What I want more than anything is freedom. Freedom to love. Freedom to be myself and enjoy myself. Personal freedom. To have the freedom that sets me away from fear. "Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom". I want that God! Where is this freedom?
Why is so hard?
..........................................................
Sean, I love you man... Just wanted you to know that. And know that the things that we want arnt always the things we need...
I am frustrated too... living in a world that is Sinful... being sinful... But just know that you are not alone in your strugle, your friends are right here wanting the same thing man. We ride together, we die together dawg... Derek
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:31 AM
I just woke up after thinking about stuff and it's still all in my head floating around. All I can say is Derek is right.
Read Roman's 7:14-25, it'll provide mabye at least a few answers, or at least a good explination of where we are all at. Then read the first few verses of chapter 8...it does to Paul's questions what you, I think, want to do with yours, ties them together.
- Jordan
Posted by
Jordan_Ryan_Stewart |
10:26 AM